Not Afraid of Death...Just Dying

Lately I find myself reflecting on death and dying.  Isn’t that a morbid way to start a blog post?

The last couple of months I’ve been in contact with a number of people who are dealing with the end stages of a terminal illness. 

I’ve come to the realization that I’m not afraid of death…just dying.

Let me clarify.  The dying process I’ve seen in people over the last few months is a painful process of bone degeneration resulting in fractures and infection. 

Another woman suffers from metastasizing lung cancer, now devouring multiple vital organs throughout her body. 

One blessing in the midst of these situations is the care and dedication of the Palliative Care hospital staff who work diligently to bring dignity, pain relief, and comfort to individuals in their final days.

Aside from the selflessness of the hospital staff none of this paints a pretty picture. 

Truth be told, I harbor a secret dread of cancer.  My mother succumbed to lymphoma at the age of 48.  We’re shaped by our past experiences and it’s hard to get that one out of my frame of reference.

Did you know 68% of the population indicates a fear of death?  To explain why I’m not part of those statistics let me share a story…

My grandmother was 92-years-old when she died.  She was unresponsive in the hospital when I went to visit her.  While I stood holding her hand, her breathing gradually became more and more shallow.  Panic slammed through me as I realized she was slipping away in front of me.

My brain screamed in protest, “I can’t handle this!”

Before I could think or feel or react in any other way a presence filled the room.  I’ve tried other times  to verbalize what I experienced,  but I’m afraid words come up short.

Panic melted away as an overwhelming sense of peace descended.  I was filled with a joy that I’ve never felt before or since.  The best I can do is to call it close to euphoria.  Peacefulness filled the room and I knew this was good and right.

I don’t know what happened in the hospital room that day.  I don’t know who was there with me as my grandmother danced with the angels…God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit… all of the above.  But I think, for an instant, I may have caught a glimpse of the glory of God.

“…I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people!  He will live with them, and they will be his people.  God himself will be with them.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.  All these things are gone forever…’”  Revelation 21:3-4 (NLT)

The process of dying still scares me, but death?   Death is new life.

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

Are you afraid of death or dying?  Share your thoughts by clicking on “comments” below.

Haunted By The Past

Are you haunted by a past you wish you could forget?

Ashamed about something you’ve done and can’t undo? 

Wondering if you’re a terrible person; afraid people will “disown” you if they find out about your “secret”?

This might come as a surprise to you, but you’re not alone!  People everywhere mentally flog themselves for mistakes they’ve made; wishing they could go back in time and re-write history.

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol
at www.freedigitalphotos.net

What secret haunts you?

• An affair
• Abortion
• Pornography
• Addiction
• Teen pregnancy
• A promiscuous past
• Stealing
• Lousy parenting

Go ahead, name the shackle that binds you as a slave to guilt, shame, and anxiety.

Now read Jeremiah 31:18-20

“I have heard Israel saying, ‘You disciplined me severely, like a calf that needs training for the yoke.  Turn me again to you and restore me, for you alone are the Lord my God.  I turned away from God, but then I was sorry.  I kicked myself for my stupidity!  I was thoroughly ashamed of all I did in my younger days.  Is not Israel still my son, my darling child?’ says the Lord.  ‘I often have to punish him, but I still love him.  That’s why I long for him and surely will have mercy on him.’”  (NLT)

 

Been there.  I’ve kicked myself many times for my stupidity, and there are a number of things in my past for which I’ve carried the heavy burdens of shame and guilt.

But this scripture tells you, regardless of your past, you’re still God’s “darling child” and He loves you and longs for you to return to Him so He can shower His mercy on you.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only person in the world struggling with the secret you bear.  It’s easy to convince yourself you’re a horrible person. 

 

But, I guarantee, you’re neither of these things.  There are other people out there hiding behind smiling masks, carrying similar fears.

I speak from personal experience.   Staying loaded down with guilt and shame is no way to live.  We’re meant to live in freedom, not slavery. 

Image courtesy of photostock
at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Finding that freedom is what birthed this ministry, “Living Day By Day In God’s Grace”.  Having found the freedom grace offers, I never want to go back to bondage!

Bring your secret to God, confess it, and accept the mercy He longs to give.

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

What part of your past do you need to bring to God today?

A Plethora of Pie

It's summer and that means fruit season.  Fresh strawberries, rhubarb, blueberries, raspberries, peaches, apricots, plums...the taste buds quiver in anticipation of juicy, sweet, fruity treats.

And guess what!  Fruit season heralds the arrival of PIE season!  Sure, you can make pie from frozen fruit, but there's no better pie than one that comes from plump, juicy, fresh fruit.

So here you have it...a plethora of pie!  Strawberry/rhubarb, blueberry, and peach/blueberry.  Use the basic pie crust, and just pick your favourite fruity filling.

Here's the never fail pastry recipe I included a little while ago with the pecan pie recipe.

Never Fail Pastry

- Use the full recipe and freeze the rest.

5 cups flour
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
2 cups Tenderflake or Crisco lard (shortening)
1 beaten egg
1 tbsp. vinegar

Mix flour, salt, and baking powder together.  Cut the lard into the flour mixture until crumbly.  (HINT - if you have a Kitchenaide it makes easy work of this step, then you can hand mix the rest)

Beat the egg in a glass measuring cup, add the vinegar, then add enough cold water to make 3/4 cup of liquid.

Add the liquid mixture to the flour crumb mixture and mix by hand - knead a couple of times on a hard surface to completely mix.

NOTE:  If you want to 1/2 this recipe use the whole egg and just half of the other liquid ingredients.

Now pick your favourite filling from the recipes below, or better yet, make a pie a week for the next three weeks!  :) 

Strawberry/Rhubarb

2 1/2 cups rhubarb, chopped
2 cups strawberries, halved
1 1/4 cups sugar
5 tbsp. flour
1/4 tsp. salt

Line an ungreased pie plate with pastry.  Mix dry ingredients together; add rhubarb and strawberries.  Mix well and place in uncooked pie shell.  Cover with the top crust.  Brush with milk and sprinkle with sugar.  Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes, then reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake about 50 minutes longer.


Blueberry

4 cups blueberries
2 tbsp. flour
2/3 cup flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tbsp. butter

Combine blueberries, flour, white sugar, salt, and lemon juice.  Stir together and let stand for 10 minutes.  Line a pie plate with pastry.  Pour in blueberries, sprinkle with brown sugar and dot with butter.  Cover with top crust.  Bake 35 - 45 minutes at 425 degrees.


Peach/Blueberry

2 tbsp. lemon juice
3 cups peeled, pitted, sliced peaches (for step by step instructions on peeling peaches go to http://localfoods.about.com/od/summer/ss/PeelPeach.htm
1 cup blueberries
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp. quick cooking tapioca
1/2 tsp. salt


Put peaches and blueberries in a bowl and sprinkle with lemon juice.  Mix sugar, salt, and tapioca in a separate bowl.  Toss lightly with fruit.  Let stand 15 minutes.  Turn into pastry and cover with top crust.  Bake 45 to 50 minutes at 425 degrees.

Slow Down

Every now and then life smacks me with a dose of reality as a reminder to slow down.  Sometimes it’s an actual physical smack in the form of a cold or flu.  Other times it’s a metaphorical smack.  This week it was metaphorical.

As many of you know I set a couple of running goals this year.  The first was to run 5 km by the end of May…check, mission accomplished!  The second is to run 10 km by the end of the year.

I’m starting to feel the pressure of time constraints in meeting the second goal.  The end of the year in Stony Plain, Alberta, is cold, dark, and snowy.   Not exactly a climate conducive to running outside.  Determined to meet my goal, I’ve attempted to speed up my program so I can run 10 km by the end of October.

Since I hit 5 km I’ve struggled to increase my time.  In fact even running 30 minutes – a goal I achieved last year – challenges my endurance, making my year end goal seem like an unrealistic pipe dream.

Frustrated with the results I’m getting I looked for the cause of my apparent lack of endurance.  I started to blame outside influences.  You know the drill…

• the scented candles at work that make me cough, decreasing short term lung function,
• the new shoes that change the position of my feet and use different muscle groups,
• the chiropractic adjustment that changed my body’s alignment, making it more difficult to run.

Instead of examining the situation to figure out what’s really going on we make excuses by blaming outside influences.

 After a particularly frustrating 47 minute run this past weekend, I spent some time in introspection, mulling over the problem.

I have an app on my phone that monitors how far I run, how long I run, and how fast I run.  Reviewing the history stored in the app I realized I’ve been running too fast.

Can I get an app like that for my life?  When I’m cramming too much in a day it would vibrate and beep at me with the message, “Slow down you idiot”.  I don’t think Apple’s figured it out yet, but maybe one day!

I’ve blogged about running too fast before.  (See "Not The Gold Medal Sprint" and "Persistence - Perseverance - Endurance") I do recognize the problem and try to keep it in check, but subconsciously, in an effort to accomplish my goal sooner, I increase my speed at the same time I lengthen my time.

When I run too fast I push my body to its limits.  When I get to a hill there’s no reserve.  By the time I get to the top my legs are screaming in agony and I’m gasping for air.  It’s a little difficult to keep running for another 20 minutes in that condition!

How is that for a life metaphor?  Do you run too fast in your everyday life?  We push ourselves to our limits, trying to do more and more. 

We work nine or ten hour days, cook meals, take the kids to evening activities, try to squeeze out quality time with our spouse, do the laundry, clean the house, cut the grass, shovel the snow, see our friends, participate in community and church events, try to eke out a few minutes for prayer and bible study, exercise, eat right…and wonder why we’re exhausted at the end of each day.

The unfortunate thing is my alarm clock doesn’t discriminate.  It doesn’t care that I stayed up till midnight working on sales projections, writing a blog, or reading a book.  Regardless of when I called it a night the alarm still goes off at 5:40 a.m.!

When you constantly push yourself there’s no strength to draw from when you come to a hill (or a rough spot in life).

Endurance is key in running.  I’m not trying to break anyone’s speed record.  I just want to run 10 km.  In order to do that I need to slow down and build endurance to go the distance.

Endurance in life is key, too.  How do you build endurance?  Slow down the pace.  Give yourself a rest.  You’re not a super hero and you don’t have to act like one.  Cut yourself some slack.  Life’s a marathon, not a 100 metre dash! 

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

What do you find yourself rushing to do?  Do you need to slow down?  Share your thoughts by clicking on “comments” below. 

Where's God - Part 2

Last week in Part 1 of this post I started by asking the question, “Where’s God when life is tough?”  We looked at Jeremiah 24:1-10. 

In these verses God preserves the lives of the people of Judah by sending them into exile in Babylon.  I’m sure this isn’t exactly the vacation God’s people dreamt about.

In an instant their lives completely change.  Their homes are gone, they’ve lost loved ones, and now they’re marched off into exile to a strange foreign land.  The obvious question echoes…”Where’s God?”

There’s good news in response to Judah’s desperate query.

God doesn’t abandon the exiles.  He’s preps Jeremiah, working with him behind the scenes by telling him the plans he has for his people.  And Jeremiah, ever faithful to God’s call, waits for God’s perfect timing and writes a letter of reassurance (essentially a letter from God Himself) to the exiles.

“This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says to all the captives he has exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem.  ‘Build homes, and plan to stay.  Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce.  Marry and have children.  Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren.  Multiply!  Do not dwindle away!  And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile.  Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.’”  Jeremiah 29:4-7 (NLT)

 

“This is what the Lord says, ‘You will be in Babylon for seventy years.  But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again.  For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord.  ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’  Jeremiah 29:10-11 (NLT)

I imagine a unanimous sigh of relief echoes around Babylon upon receipt of this letter.  The exiles finally know God is still watching over them, even in this unknown, strange land.  Imagine the burden that’s lifted, simply because they know God is in control and looking out for them. 

You can breathe sigh of relief in the midst of your suffering, too.  You probably don’t see it at this moment, but God is in control.  He’s looking out for you and watching over you. 

Whatever God has planned it’s always better than anything we can imagine.  At the right time God will send a “Jeremiah” into your life to give you the “inside scoop”, and to reassure you.  Until that happens, hang onto God’s promise,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Things To Think About

What are you struggling with today?  Where might God be working “behind the scenes” this very moment, even though you can’t see it?

Share your thoughts by clicking on “comments” below.

Where's God - Part 1

Where’s God when your marriage falls apart?

Where’s God in the cancer riddled body lying in the Palliative Care Unit? 

Where’s God in the crumpled metal frame lying by the side of the road while the wail of an ambulance fades into the distance?
Where’s God when life is tough?

You may have asked these, or similar questions.  Right now you might be shaking your fist and screaming at God, demanding an answer to a tough question.

We all face circumstances in life that don’t make sense.  And we wonder, “Where’s God?”

Sometimes we don’t get answers, but sometimes God leaves us clues.

Today and next week I want to share insights from the book of Jeremiah.  I hope by the end of these two posts we’ll have a little more clarity to the anguished question, “Where’s God?”

Jeremiah is a prophet, called by God to preach a message of repentance to the kingdoms of Israel and Judah.  Jeremiah’s message isn’t popular, but he remains faithful to God, persisting in warning the rebellious nations, Israel and Judah, of the dire consequences they’ll face if they don’t stop worshiping other Gods.

 

Like most of us, Israel and Judah are stubborn.  They fail to heed Jeremiah’s warning.  Jerusalem is overthrown.  Eventually the people of both nations are taken into exile.  Things look pretty bleak to the prisoners of war, as their victors herd them towards a life of exile in Babylon.

But God sends this message to Jeremiah…

“After King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon exiled Jehoiachin son of Johoiakim, king of Judah to Babylon along with the officials of Judah and all the craftsmen and artisans, the Lord gave me this vision.  I saw two baskets of figs placed in front of the Lord’s Temple in Jerusalem.  One basket was filled with fresh, ripe figs, while the other was filled with bad figs that were too rotten to eat. 

Then the Lord said to me, ‘What do you see, Jeremiah?’

I replied, ‘Figs, some very good and some very bad, too rotten to eat.’

Then the Lord gave me this message: ‘This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says:  The good figs represent the exiles I sent from Judah to the land of the Babylonians.  I will watch over and care for them, and I will bring them back here again.  I will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord.  They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me wholeheartedly.’

‘But the bad figs,’ the Lord said, ‘represent King Zedekiah of Judah, his officials, all the people left in Jerusalem, and those who live in Egypt.  I will treat them like bad figs, too rotten to eat.  I will make them an object of horror and a symbol of evil to every nation on earth.  They will be disgraced and mocked, taunted and cursed, wherever I scatter them.  And I will send war, famine, and disease until they have vanished from the land of Israel, which I gave to them and their ancestors.’  “Jeremiah 24:1-10 (NLT)

Jeremiah receives the “inside scoop” from God about the exiles.  Here’s what I believe God is telling Jeremiah…

There are good people living in Judah.  People who have potential to become a great and godly nation once more.  But they’re mixed up with evil and corrupt people.

By sending them into exile God separates these good people from the evil, corrupt ones.  He saves His people from the war and famine that He knows will devastate the land. 

By sending them into exile God preserves their lives. 

Here’s the problem for the exiles…

In the midst of the chaos; homes lost and lives changed overnight, the exiles can’t see or understand God’s greater purpose.  Like us in the midst of turmoil, I imagine they wonder…”Where’s God?  Why has He deserted us?”

Even though they don’t know it and can’t see or understand it at the time, God is still with the exiles.  He continues to protect and watch over them.

Quite often our troubles overwhelm us.  We give in to fear. 

The thing is when we’re in the midst of our troubles, paralyzed by fear and uncertainty, we don’t know the whole picture.  We don’t know what God’s doing behind the scenes.  We don’t have Jeremiah’s “inside scoop”.  

This segment of Jeremiah brings hope for the exiles and it brings hope for us, too.  Even when we don’t see it, God is at work and has a plan for us.

There’s more good news for both the exiles and us a few chapters later in Jeremiah.  Next week we’ll look at some other promises God makes about taking care of his people. 

To read ahead, take a look at Jeremiah chapter 29.  That’s where we’ll be next week.

Failure To Act = Faith Failure

Every now and then God “calls me out” on an area in my life that needs attention.  This past Sunday was one of those times.

My husband has arthritis in his sacroiliac joint.  Periodically it flares up, causing him a lot of pain.  It’s been bothering him lately and Sunday morning it was especially cranky.

At the beginning of the church service the pastor said they were going to pray for anyone who needed healing.  The prayer started and I found myself praying silently for relief for my husband.

I felt God telling me to reach out and place my right hand on his lower back while I prayed.  Immediately my brain went into, “What will people think” mode.  What would people think if they saw me putting my hand on his lower back?  For that matter what would he think? 

It’s not like I could do it subtly.  We were sitting down and he was to my left.  It would require shifting and re-arranging.  Certainly the people around us would notice the shuffling, even if they were being good little Christians  and sitting with eyes closed and heads bent in prayer instead of playing on phones and Ipods.

I argued with God, making up silent excuses not to reach out my hand.  Finally I made a feeble attempt; awkwardly reaching out my left hand and pretending to scratch his hip. 

Like THAT wasn’t weirder that simply asking him to lean forward and laying my hand on the small of his back!?!

I immediately knew it was an epic fail on my part. 

Could God relieve my husband’s pain without my hand on his back, of course He could.  That’s not the point!

Sometimes answer to prayer requires a simple act of obedient faith; a show of our trust in God.

I think of the story of Naaman in 2 Kings, chapter 5...

Naaman travels a great distance to see Elisha because he’s heard Elisha has the power of God and can heal his skin disease.  After a long, arduous journey Naaman arrives on Elisha’s doorstep, only to be told to go and wash in the muddy Jordan River seven times.

Naaman is disgusted!  He stomps off in fury.  He expected a great spectacle from the famous prophet. 

Fortunately Naaman’s servants are more astute than Naaman.  They confront Naaman, saying, “…if the prophet had asked you to do something hard and heroic, wouldn’t you have done it?  So why not this simple ‘wash and be clean?”

Naaman wisely follows the counsel of his servants, and in a spirit of humility goes and washes in the Jordan.  He is healed.

Naaman had a choice.  

• He could risk public ridicule and faithfully follow Elisha’s instructions to receive healing, or
• he could cling to his pride and lose out on the healing opportunity.

Here are the questions I’ve been pondering…

• Did my failure to act cheat God out of an opportunity to show His glory?
• Did my desire to appear “normal” and please people hinder God’s healing?
• Did I cheat my husband out of a pain free afternoon because I didn't want to look awkward?

I’ve written a few posts about thoughts, believes, and stigmas that get in the way of living out my faith in the public eye.  See Firm In Faith and Self-Proclaimed "Jesus Freak" .

 

 I thought I was getting better and overcoming some of the social anxieties associated with what people think about the way I act, or speak.  Apparently I was wrong! 

God and I still have work to do in the arena of sharing and living out my faith through acts of obedience.

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

What about you?  What’s God “calling you out” on right now?  Is there an area in your life you need to confront?  Spend some quiet time with God and pray David’s prayer from Psalm 139…

 

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

And lead me along the path of everlasting life.” 

Psalm 139:23-24