Starting Strong But Finishing Poorly

Self Esteem and Weak Leadership

Last week we looked at the early life of Joash, king of Judah.  We saw how he was able to thrive as king under the positive guidance of Jehoiada, the high priest, in spite of a severely dysfunctional family history. The historical account of Joash’s reign begins on a high note with the statement, “Joash did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight throughout the lifetime of Jehoiada the priest.” (2 Chronicles 24:2)

Sadly his reign doesn’t end on this same positive note. The words “throughout the lifetime of Jehoiada the priest” foreshadow the downfall of Joash’s reign following the death of his mentor.

The early verses of 2 Chronicles, chapter 24 depict the acts of Joash and Jehoiada as they rebuild the temple of the Lord and reinstate godly worship. But in verse 15 we’re told Jehoiada dies and Joash is left without his lifelong mentor and guide.

Immediately things take a turn for the worse. Verses 17 and 18 tell us, “But after Jehoiada’s death, the leaders of Judah came and bowed before King Joash and persuaded him to listen to their advice. They decided to abandon the Temple of the Lord, the God of their ancestors, and they worshiped Asherah poles and idols instead!...”

Did these men take advantage of Joash while he was vulnerable following his mentor’s death? Is it possible he was a weak individual who thrived under the strong leadership of Jehoiada, the priest, but when left to his own devices succumbed to the pressure of other leaders around him? Was he not capable of making decisions himself?  Perhaps he struggled with low self esteem and self doubt, finding it easier to give in to the opinions of others than to defend his own beliefs.

Whatever the reason Joash is influenced by the leaders of Judah and a lifetime of revival of the Lord’s temple is tossed to the wind. Joash begins to worship idols and follows pagan gods. Zechariah, Jehoiada’s son, sees what is happening and questions Joash, calling him to task for turning from serving God. But Joash, too deeply enmeshed in the pagan lifestyle, coldly orders the leaders of Judah to kill Jehoiada’s son.

In the end Joash is assassinated by some of his own men because of his decision to kill Zechariah and doesn’t even warrant burial in the royal cemetery. It’s sad to see a life start out with such promise and end so poorly.

Do you struggle with self doubt? Perhaps you’ve been bullied. Have you made decisions based on the approval of your so called “friends” or co-workers; perhaps even your boss and then regretted the choices you made? Have you compromised your beliefs and standards to satisfy someone else?

These are hard questions to answer truthfully. No one likes to admit to compromising their values or changing who they are to make someone else happy. The truth is at some point in our lives we’ve probably all done just that. It’s very difficult to defend yourself and your beliefs to your peers or the bullies in your life if you struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. We see from the life of Joash how important it is to speak up for what we know is right and not give in to evil influence.

I’ve struggled with low self-esteem all my life. In hindsight I know one of my marriages failed because I was too weak to stand up for myself. I “went with the flow” and believed I was flexible, adaptable and accommodating when really I was just “wishy washy” and weak, allowing all my decisions to be made for me because I didn’t want to make them myself.

A poor self image is hard to overcome. Sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re worthy of self love and self respect and the respect of those around us.  We don’t think other people care about our opinions and don’t believe we have something of value to contribute to conversations and life around us. But believe me when I tell you we do! You are of utmost value to God! You have something important to contribute to this world and to the people around you! You are worthy of God’s love, your own love and the love and respect of others!

If you struggle with low self-esteem please seek the guidance of a trusted counselor. Consider reading some books on the subject – a good place to start is “Completely His” by Shannon Ethridge. Believe that God loves you. Remember the verse John 3:16, “For God loved the world so much that He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”  That’s you – the world is you and me! Try reading the New Testament in the Bible and you’ll see just how much God loves us all!

Have you struggled with self-esteem?  It’s more common than you think.  Please comment below.

Mentorship - Shaping People's Lives

Is there someone in your life you respect or admire? Someone who is a positive influence?  Someone who helped shape the person you are today because they cared enough to take time to listen and teach you?

Parents, aunts, uncles, family friends, teachers, grandparents, and pastors all make a significant difference in the life of a child if they are willing to take the time to listen patiently, teach, and when necessary, lovingly discipline.  As adults we can hone our talents, gifts and faith if we are able to find a knowledgeable person who is willing to mentor us in our quest to learn and grow. A great example of the influence an adult can have in a child’s life is seen in the initial rule of King Joash of Judah (2 Chronicles 23–24:1-14)

Let’s take a quick look at Joash’s relatives leading up to his reign. Joash’s grandfather, Jehoram, starts his reign by killing all his brothers – presumably so no one will usurp his throne. He worships pagan gods, leading all of Judah into idolatry. Eventually he is afflicted by what is termed “a severe intestinal disease” (2 Chronicles 21:18) and dies an agonizing death. The last verse of 2 Chronicles 21 sums up his reign succinctly by stating, “...No one was sorry when he died.” Ahaziah, Joash’s father, reigns as king of Judah for only one year before he is killed. The historical account of Ahaziah includes the words, “...He did what was evil in the sight of the Lord...” 2 Chronicles 22:4. Trust me this really isn’t the way you want the historical record of your reign as king to read!

Joash’s grandfather and father aren’t exactly a positive influence in his life, but wait until you hear about his grandmother! When Athaliah (Joash’s grandmother), finds out her son is dead she goes on a killing rampage targeting the entire royal family because she doesn’t want anyone ruling in her place. Talk about dysfunctional family!

Joash is just a baby when his grandmother goes on her killing spree and would certainly have perished. His aunt who is married to Jehoiada, the high priest, intervenes and steals Joash away, hiding him in the temple. He remains there for six years under the care of his aunt and her husband, Jehoiada. (2 Chronicles 22:10-12)

Eventually Joash’s evil grandmother is overthrown. At the tender age of seven Joash becomes king and is guided, taught and mentored by Jehoiada.  He reigns for 40 years and, “...Joash did what was right in the eyes of the Lord all the days of Jehoiada the priest.” (2 Chronicles 24:2) Now that’s what you want to see written on your epitaph as king! As long as Jehoiada is alive Joash thrives under his instruction and walks faithfully with the Lord.

Next week we’ll look at the flip side of Joash’s story. We’ll see what happens in the absence of a mentor and explore the damaging effects of peer pressure.

Early on in my career I worked as a secretary for the co-ordinator of a department in one of the hospitals in Winnipeg. I was in my early twenties and still very impressionable. I learned many lessons from this wonderful lady. She modeled exemplary work ethic, positive attitude in the midst of a stressful and chaotic department and she always had a kind word of encouragement for her staff. Each morning she would come into the office with a big grin on her face and say, “It’s a great day”, and you knew she genuinely meant it.

By watching her I learned you can choose the attitude you have each day (and a positive attitude is way more fun than a negative attitude), I learned to work hard and to serve people and I learned to manage stress in the work place (that one took a few more lessons over the years before I mastered it, but I caught the early glimpses of what stress management should look like).  It’s been 20 years since I worked for her but last year I took a few minutes and wrote her a note explaining the impact she made in my life and how much I appreciated the things I learned working for her. 

Joash’s life could have been very different had it not been for the patient instruction of Jehoiada.  My career may have been very different had it not been for the influence of this lovely lady in my early working years. Never underestimate the impact you can have on someone’s life. Look around you. Is there a young person you can help by offering some guidance? Do you need someone to mentor you in your faith journey? Has someone new started in your office and needs a little help?

Comment below if you’ve mentored someone or been mentored yourself.

Africa Famine - My Thoughts

A few days ago I was watching an interview with a representative from Doctors Without Borders on CTV’s Canada AM. I listened to the heart wrenching description of the conditions these people endure a world away every minute of every day and it brought tears to my eyes.

After the interview was finished I went into the kitchen, made myself some rye toast with peanut butter, sat down at the table and bowed my head to say grace. As I began to thank God for the food, a thought entered my mind that felt like a physical blow to the head. I really wasn’t grateful for the food. In fact as I’d been preparing it I was thinking how toast really wasn’t my favourite breakfast but it was quick and easy and I was too lazy to take the time to prepare anything else. I realized how much I take for granted in my life. Just the simple fact grain is available in abundance in Canada and I can have two pieces of toast on my plate each morning makes me one of the most blessed people in the world today!

Now I’m faced with a choice. I can accept the fact that I am one of the privileged people in this world and carry on obliviously with my life, or I can try to use that privilege to make a difference in this time of famine in Africa.

Can we actually sit back in this country, listen to the news reports, shake our heads in sorrow and then return to our normal lives unchanged by this tragedy? I suppose we can and if we do our hearts become a little more hardened to the plight of people all around us and it’s a little easier to ignore the next humanitarian disaster and the next and the next. I personally don’t want to live my life this way.

This time I really bowed my head in prayer. I begged God’s forgiveness for my ungratefulness and in tears asked Him to reveal to me how I might make a difference in the famine in Africa. What can we do as the blessed people in Canada to help the starving people of Africa? I think we all need to ask ourselves this question. What can we do to make a difference and feed these people in their desperate time of need? What can you do personally to help?

There are many wonderful organizations already on the ground in the Horn of Africa providing relief to the refugees who walk hundreds of miles in sweltering heat to get to their last desperate hope for survival – the refugee camp. Please visit some of these websites and consider giving to make a difference in this famine. The links below are for the Canadian websites but you can visit the corresponding sight in your country for non-government organizations offering aid in Africa.

Doctors Without Borders – www.msf.ca

Compassion Canada – www.compassion.ca

Samaritan’s Purse – www.samaritanspurse.ca

World Vision – www.worldvision.ca

What am I personally going to do about it? I’m starting a fundraising effort with a goal to raise $500 by August 31 for donation to Samaritan’s Purse to help with their efforts towards famine relief. The good news is that any funds donated by September 16 are eligible for matching funds from the Canadian Government so please consider donating now. What will you do?

Frozen Banana Split Dessert

The long weekend is here and everyone is hoping for three consecutive blistering hot, sunny days. OK, maybe I'm the only one hoping for blistering hot, but I know everyone else is at the very least hoping for sunshine. If there's heat and sunshine it can only mean one thing...ice cream! Here's an easy recipe for a fabulous dessert for the lazy days of summer.

Frozen Banana Split Dessert

Mix together:
3 cups graham wafer crumbs, 6 tablespoons sugar and 2/3 cup melted butter.
Set aside one cup of this mixture and press the rest into a 9" x 13" cake pan and let it cool.

Slice 4 or 5 bananas over the crust and smooth 1/2 gallon (2 litres) of soften vanilla ice cream over them.
Sprinkle 2 cups roasted pecans over the ice cream and freeze until solid.

Melt 1 cup chocolate chips with 1/2 cup butter
Then add 2 cups icing sugar, 1 cup evaporated milk, 1 teaspoon vanilla
Pour over chopped nuts and freeze solid.

Cover the entire dessert with 2 tubs of softened Cool Whip. Sprinkle on remaining crumbs and freeze. This can be sliced in squares and kept in the freezer for a sweet treat or easy dessert.

Happy long weekend to everyone.  Enjoy!

The Golden Calf Debacle...Repeated?

I’ve been reading the book of 1 Kings in the Bible and came across an interesting event leading up to the division of the Israelite kingdom. Early in Solomon’s reign as king over the ancient Israelites God makes a covenant with him promising Solomon great wisdom, riches, a long life and a descendant on the throne of Israel forever if he follows God faithfully. God also issues a warning stating if Solomon doesn’t remain faithful Israel will be driven out of the promised land and the kingdom will fall. (1 Kings 3:10-14 and 9:1-9) Solomon honours this agreement for a large part of his life but towards the end of his reign his dedication to God becomes weak. Because of the influence of his many wives Solomon begins to worship other gods. Solomon’s unfaithfulness in following God effectively breaks the earlier covenant and a prophet is sent to deliver a message from God to a man by the name of Jeroboam. Jeroboam is told the twelve tribes of Israel will be split after Solomon’s death and God will make him ruler over ten of the tribes while Solomon’s son will retain rule over the tribe of Judah and the tribe of Benjamin. The prophet goes on to explain to Jeroboam the promise from God which states if he walks in God’s ways, following God’s commands he will be king of Israel and the kingdom will prosper (1 Kings 11:26-40).

Wow, what a promise! Jeroboam has just been guaranteed by God that he will be king of Israel. The reason for Solomon losing his kingship has been spelled out in black and white terms. Jeroboam has been a member of Solomon’s staff and has seen firsthand the “what not to do if you want to rule God’s people of Israel".  The “how to’s of maintaining kingship of Israel” couldn’t be made any clearer. Jeroboam should have a bright future! Wouldn’t we if we were told by a prophet in no uncertain terms exactly what we had to do in order to secure God’s promise in our lives?

We don’t know anything about Jeroboam’s character or personality. All we know is that he was a servant to Solomon. I imagine life as a king is probably fairly stressful, especially when you’ve got an irate son of the previous king breathing down your neck, seeking retribution for stealing his throne. Perhaps Jeroboam lacked self-confidence as a leader, whatever the reason, not too long into his reign Jeroboam becomes a little paranoid about the control he has over Israel. The temple where people go to worship God is in Jerusalem which is still under the rule of Solomon’s son. We’re told that Jeroboam suddenly becomes fearful that the people going to worship God in the temple will pledge their allegiance to Solomon’s son. In his fear Jeroboam loses sight of God’s promise and fails to trust God. In 1 Kings 12:25-28 (the passages telling the story of Jeroboam’s downfall) there isn’t one word that even so much as hints Jeroboam took this fear to God in prayer, or turned to God for strength. In verse 28 he takes matters into his own hands and makes two gold calves, telling the people of Israel, “...It is too much trouble for you to worship in Jerusalem. Look, Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of Egypt.” What!!!! Did he learn nothing from his people’s history as they journeyed with God in the wilderness? Surely the golden calf debacle of Aaron has been told over and over through generations, and yet here is Jeroboam repeating the same mistake almost word for word! Dare I be so blunt as to say...how stupid can you get?!?

I can say it but then I’d be forced to examine my own life and realize that perhaps I’m not quite as superior as I might like to think. How many times in my life have I repeated mistakes I’ve made or seen others make? We’ve all heard the popular definition of insanity, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I don’t know if this definition applies to repeating other people’s actions and expecting different results than they got but if so perhaps we’re all insane! As teenagers our parents try to save us from pain by sharing their experiences with us, but of course we know better than they do and must forge ahead, making the same painful mistakes they made. This behaviour doesn’t always end with our teenage years. Quite often it plagues us in our relationships as adults. We find ourselves trapped in patterns of behaviour we know are damaging and yet we persist in them. Human nature? Weakness? Insanity? Rebellion? Low self esteem?

What can we learn from the mistakes of Jeroboam? What can we learn from our own mistakes? We’re human. We continue to make mistakes as we navigate through life, but it’s crucial that we learn from them. We need to invite God into our lives, allowing Him to work in our hearts. We need to learn from our experiences. We need to humble ourselves, admit our mistakes, admit that we’re wrong and strive not to repeat the same mistakes. We need to learn from the lives of others – those around us and those we read about in history and in the bible. This isn’t to say we inflict judgment on these people (remember you may react in exactly the same manner if placed in a similar situation). It’s simply to say read and learn what not to do, what to avoid and how to live a Godly life. Are there mistakes in your life you’re repeating or a pattern of behaviour you know you need to break? Pray about it, ask God to identify it, seek counsel or guidance if you need help to change it and see what God can do in your life.

Does God Care About Our Struggles?

In my last post, “Taking Life One Sidewalk Block At A Time” I had every intention of referencing a common scripture passage, “God will never give you more than you are able to bear.” I didn’t know exactly where to find it in the Bible so I did a search at biblegateway.com. No results were returned. I changed bible versions and tried the search again with the same results – nothing. How can that be? Curious, I went to Google and typed in the same search. Imagine my surprise and disbelief when Google told me...nope, not there, doesn’t exist, nothing, nada! A few hits sited 1 Corinthians 10:13, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the TEMPTATION to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.” OK, that’s all well and good for temptation, but that verse doesn’t specifically speak to the struggles or burdens we experience in our everyday lives.

Everyone quotes the “God won’t give you more than you can bear” scripture at some point in their lives and I was still having trouble believing it didn’t exist. Since I’m a huge learning geek and tend to not necessarily believe everything I read on the internet (because we know that stuff is all true...NOT) I decided it was time to call in the expert. I headed down to the church to speak with a pastor and guess what – the scripture does not exist! He did mention 1 Corinthians 10:13, but confirmed my interpretation that this does in fact speak to temptation. He went on to explain that it could apply to the desire or temptation to curse God in the midst of our struggles, but does not actually deal with the struggles themselves. He then referenced a very interesting passage from Paul’s letter in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, “We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die...”

Wow, so much for “not more than you can bear”. They couldn’t bear it – they thought they were going to die! Where’s the reassuring scripture now? Where does that leave us? Does God abandon us to muddle through our struggles in our own strength as best we can? Does He care that we suffer in this life? These are all good questions and quite frankly hard questions to answer when you’re grieving the loss of a child, going bankrupt, dealing with a divorce, or experiencing other curve balls life throws at you. The good news is Paul doesn’t leave it there. He goes on to say, “...But as a result we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again...” These two verses are prefaced by Paul praising God and telling the people of Corinth over and over again how God has comforted them through Christ’s presence in their lives.  As you read through verses 3 to 7 (and I highly recommend you do) it seems as though Paul can’t say enough about the comforting presence of God. Paul isn’t the only one in the bible to do this. Many times throughout the Psalms David takes comfort from God’s presence and support...Psalm 145:14, “...The Lord helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads...”, the classic Psalm 23:3 “...He renews my strength...”, Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble...” You’ll find many more examples if you read through the Psalms. In Matthew, Jesus, Himself reassures us and tells us to bring our burdens to Him, “...Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest...” Matthew 11:28.

Does God abandon us in times of trouble? No! God is always with us in Christ and through the presence of the Holy Spirit. He is always ready to comfort us, strengthen us and come along side of us as we navigate the challenges and troubles of life. Can we trust Him? Absolutely! “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken” Psalm 55:22

What are you struggling with today? Will you trust God to see you through?

Taking Life One Sidewalk Block At A Time

Has your world ever come crashing down around you? Perhaps this is your situation right now. Are you just one more catastrophe away from your breaking point? Are you worried about your aging parents’ health,  your teenager who was caught shoplifting, your adult child with a drug addiction, your spouse who lost his job, your failing marriage or the call from the doctor saying you need more follow up tests with a specialist?

Maybe this doesn’t describe your life exactly, but I know everyone experiences seasons in their lives when nothing seems to go right and stress heaps up like an overflowing dirty laundry hamper. You feel like your life is a boat constantly being smashed on jagged rocks and you have no more energy to keep bailing out the water. Perhaps you even think allowing the boat (your life) to sink might bring sweet, welcome relief. When you try to talk to your friend she casually quotes scripture, trying to be comforting but you stand there feeling as though someone just slapped you across the face with a cold, dead fish while telling you, “Suck it up Buttercup, life’s just like that.”

We’ve all been told to take things “one day at a time”. Perhaps this saying came from Jesus’ teachings in the book of Matthew. In chapter 6 verses 25 to 34, He’s teaching about worry. He ends the teaching in verse 34 by saying, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Truer words were never spoken! Each day certainly brings us enough to worry about and sometimes even trying to take it day by day can be overwhelming.

I recently started to go for a run in the mornings. I decided rather than hurting myself I’d start out slowly, working my way up to extended periods of running. I time myself, running for four minutes then walking for three. I generally start out fairly strong and four minutes goes by quickly, but as I begin to tire, the three minutes seems to get shorter and the four minutes of running seems to drag on forever. I’ve discovered if I set small goals as I run it help me maintain my motivation. I’ll see a bend in the trail or a bench and decide I won’t check the clock until I reach that point. It’s like a bargain with my body to keep going in spite of being tired. As I near the end of my run I come off the trail and get back onto a sidewalk. It’s at this point – the last two segments of four minutes that I find my legs aching and my chest heaving. Even a small goal seems overwhelming. At that point the only way I can keep going for the four minutes is to tell myself to just run to the next sidewalk block, then the next, then the next and slowly I keep going, the time ticks by and my body becomes a little more conditioned every time I go out and accomplish those small goals – just one more sidewalk block.

There are times we need to take this approach in our lives. Sometimes the thought of getting through the day is simply too much to contemplate, sometimes even an hour seems overwhelming and it’s hard to find God and trust the Psalmist who says, “give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” (Psalm 55:22) or Peter when he says, “Give all your worries and cares to God for He cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7) These verses are both true and we do need to lean on God for strength in times of stress.  As you lean on God for strength, break down the situations and set small goals for yourself - just get through the next minute, then the next, then the next. Soon the minutes become hours, hours days and days weeks and with God you find the strength to move through your struggles one minute or hour or day at a time.

What are you struggling with today? What goals are you setting to help in your struggles? How is God strengthening you?