My Plan Vs. God's Will

I’m an organization freak, a bit of a control freak...and I LIKE plans! I might even go so far as to say I NEED to plan! There should always be a PLAN! Last week I wrote about feeling lost and off balance as life takes on new beginnings. I’m not quite sure what God has in mind or how everything fits together as I start a new life in a new town with my new husband. I was having difficulty connecting with God, felt as though life was unfocused and I was drifting – there was no plan. This was so not good!

New beginnings can be positive in the form of a new marriage, a new relationship, a new baby, a new job, a new ministry or they can take the form of more distressing events such as the death of a spouse, child, other family member or friend, the loss of a job, the breakdown of a relationship or marriage or the bad news of a life threatening diagnosis. Whichever the case, there’s always some stress associated with new beginnings because the term “new beginnings” is simply a sugar-coated way of saying the big, nasty word, “change”...and no one likes to deal with change!

This week I felt compelled to start reading the Bible again from the beginning. (Oddly enough, despite my love of structure and order I don’t follow a “Bible in a year” reading plan. I simply open the Bible and start reading just as I would any other book.) I also attended a presentation by Rev. Mike and Lisa Plunket, who were guest speakers at Spruce Grove Alliance Church. One of the concepts Mike Plunket introduced was this...”when the paradigm of your life shifts, everything goes back to zero”. He went on to explain that any time there is a major life change everything in your life needs to be re-negotiated in light of that change. How very true this concept is. New beginnings are a time of re-negotiation, of re-discovery, of re-invention, of re-creation. Genesis starts with the story of creation. For six days God creates earth, sky, land, sea, plants and animals, day and night out of nothing. He starts from the beginning, creates and makes things new, and then after six days of creation He rests.

Perhaps those of us out there struggling with new beginnings, whether positive or negative, should take a lesson from the God of creation. Use the early stages of your new beginning to lay the foundation for your future. Use these days to organize, to create, and to clean up your life. Set the tone for what God has in store for you in the future. Use it as a time of preparation, perhaps a time of healing. And remember, on the seventh day God took a rest. Spend quiet time with God and allow Him to reach deep into your heart to comfort, heal, restore and make new. If you find yourself with free time on your hands use this to rest and rejuvenate.

I guess sometimes we have to let go of our need for “the plan”. If you’re anything like me the mere thought of life without a plan is, well...just WRONG!! But I think this is where we need to release that desire for control and “go with the flow” for a while. The time of new beginning may be a time of preparation as God moves you further than you could ever imagine into larger territory and service. Personally I’d hate to miss the opportunity to serve God in some larger way simply because I had to follow my “plan”!

Are you in a time of new beginning? If you’re comfortable sharing please tell me a little about the new beginning you’re experiencing by clicking on "comments" below.

LOST

Do you have times in your life when you feel you’re wandering around in the dark looking for something but you’re not sure what that “something” is? How about the feeling that you’re supposed to be going somewhere but you’re not sure where? Maybe you feel as though each day comes and goes but you accomplish nothing that really matters at the end of the day. Is this the definition of being lost?

I ask these questions because this is how I’ve felt the last week or so. Everything in life is new – new town, new husband, new house, new instant teenagers, new church, new faces, new surroundings...and so it goes. Before I moved I knew who I was, I seemed to have purpose and activities and people to occupy my thoughts and time. Now I’m not sure how this new life fits together. I’m not sure who I am in this new role as wife and step-mother or how it all fits with whom I was before. Even my relationship with God seems to have changed, it’s become harder somehow to find Him. Everything is just a little out of balance. The days go by but suddenly I don’t seem to have purpose.

Just out of curiosity I looked up the definition of lost on www.dictionary.com and here’s a bit of what I found, “having gone astray or missed the way, bewildered as to place, direction, etc.; not used to good purpose, as opportunities, or labour; wasted; destroyed or ruined; distracted; distraught; desperate; hopeless...” Some of these definitions seem to fit. Perhaps I am lost. Others are downright frightening - desperate, hopeless, destroyed or ruined – no I don’t think so!

I think it’s more a temporary loss of focus and purpose that has me feeling disoriented and adrift in the sea of life. I know God has called me here for a reason and in time that reason will be revealed. It’s the waiting and lack of direction that leaves me struggling and wondering if I’m floating aimlessly through life. This lack of master plan and lack of direction is totally a foreign concept to me and I’m left with all these odd, and at the moment, unresolved questions. What does the future hold? Where will we find a church home? When will I be part of a ministry again? Where does God want me to serve? So many questions and so few answers.

What questions are you struggling with today? Does any of this sound familiar? Share your thoughts by clicking on “comments” below.

Finding God In The Closet Organizer

I feel as though I’ve been moving FOREVER! You see at the end of January everything I owned went into storage and I moved into my new husband’s apartment. We took possession of a house at the end of February and the real fun began!  To say the house needed “a little” work is like saying Canadian winters are “a little” cool! Every spare, waking moment of the first two weeks was spent repairing damaged dry wall, hanging new dry wall, mudding and sanding. But finally the dust settled – literally – (we’re still finding dry wall dust EVERYWHERE) and on March 18 moving day arrived.  Now we faced the challenge of combining two households into one. We have two of everything – microwaves, bar-b-q’s, kitchen tables, desks – can you say “garage sale”! It’s now April 10 and we both feel like we’ve been slaves for the last two months! My husband’s going to college during the day, I’m working a full time job and in the evening we both come home and make feeble attempts to unpack, sort, organize and generally wage war on the chaos that has become our domestic life! We’re finally making progress – last night we took back the territory called the hallway and can now walk down it without tripping through the obstacle course!

Of course in the midst of this I’m still trying to stay in close relationship with God.  If you’ve ever dealt with a crazy, chaotic time in your life, and let’s face it...who hasn’t, you’ll appreciate just how difficult this can be. I make my tea, settle into a the lovely sunny corner in the living room with my Bible, spend half an hour reading, close the Book and realize I haven’t got a clue what I just read! I try to pray and spend quiet time in God’s presence...I stop talking, close my eyes, breathe deeply, relax, focus on hearing God’s voice, and what springs to mind? The closet organizer – how practical is the closet organizer?!? Sure it looks like a good idea, but the top shelves are too high to reach and there’s not enough space in between the lower shelves to hang pants and skirts!  Crap, focus...want to spend time in God’s presence...OK, relax.  Wait the shower rod...I need to hang the curved shower rod, but the expandable ones don’t hang right and the other one costs $70.00...OK back to prayer time.  God, I really need your help here, my brain is all over the place!  Help me focus on spending time in your presence. Wait, the back gate – the latch needs to be replaced – have to remember to put that on the list...

Do you find yourself having prayer time that sounds similar to this? That’s just a quick running sampling of a two to three minute session of me trying to clear my mind and focus my thoughts on God. It continues but I won’t force you to spend more time in my mind than strictly necessary! Finally I give up and in desperation cry out to God telling Him how badly I need His help in this. I long to be in His presence but my brain just doesn’t want to shut out the realities of life! I guess I need to keep trying but perhaps taking some “time outs” along the way to do something other than work and organize the house might help, too.  Maybe a nice relaxing bath, losing myself in a good book, or spending time knitting or baking will go a long way in helping me settle down and focus again. In the mean time I write this posting in hopes of alleviating some of my current frustrations by sharing them with you.

Please share some of your thoughts on what distracts you in prayer time by clicking on “comments” below.

The Award Winning Henders Chocolate Cake Recipe

I grew up on a farm in rural Manitoba.  Our closest neighbour lived a mile and a half down the gravel road and the nearest town was six miles away.  I say town rather than city because the population of Elm Creek was roughly 300 people, so perhaps even town is a stretch – village may be more accurate.  The beauty of growing up on the farm was that you never lacked things to do.  We weren’t allowed to watch very much television and in fact didn’t own a colour TV until I was in grade 5 (and no I’m not THAT old!).  We had our imaginations, the great outdoors and if we were silly enough to admit to our parents we were bored they always managed to find plenty of work in our gianormous vegetable garden!

For me the highlight of the summer (besides playing with the eight to twelve kittens that were generally born in the spring) was the annual country fair.  You’d think the rides on the mid-way would be the biggest attraction, but for me this wasn’t the case.  In fact I’m sure I still experience childhood trauma from allowing my sister to convince me to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl.  I’m more a Merry-Go-Round person and that memory still makes my stomach quiver in fear!  No, the part of the fair I waited for every year was the exhibit building.  Here you submitted various items such as baking, sewing and crafts for judging.  Not only was the winner awarded bragging rights for the year, there was also prize money up for grabs!  I spent hours studying the fair book strategically planning my entries.

One year my sister and I ended up in the same age bracket.  There’s four years between us (I must mention here she’s older than I am) so this only happened once, but that particular year we both decided to enter a chocolate cake.  Of course we were both using the same recipe – the recipe our mother always used.  Excitement was running high the day we were off to the fair to revel in our victories.  To this day I don’t know what criteria the judges used to make their decisions but the recipe obviously is a keeper because my sister won first place and I won second!  The taste test must have been quite the challenge.

So here it is, years later, the award winning chocolate cake recipe.  ENJOY!

BEAT:

½ cup margarine

1 ½ cups white sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

ADD:

½ cup cocoa

1 ¾ cups flour

1 ½ tsp. creme of tartar

½ cup milk

Dissolve 1 tsp. baking soda in 1 cup hot water, add to cake batter and mix.  Bake in a greased 9” x 13” pan at 350 degrees F for about half an hour.

I'd love to hear your opinion of the cake - click on "comments" below to share your thoughts.

Dear God, I Just...

I’m relatively new to the “world of prayer”. It’s only in the last year that I’ve made a point of trying to spend time in prayer every day. I’ve read a few books on prayer but when I pray and when I listen to others praying I’ve noticed something that none of the books seem to mention. There’s this little word that weasels its way into our conversations with God. A recent blog post called “What Words Need to be in the Christian Dictionary” from Jon Acuff’s, “Stuff Christians Like” blog caught my eye and set my brain whirring with curiosity. Towards the end of the blog he mentions the word, “just”. It’s a word that I’ve noticed over and over and over again in prayer – mine and other people’s, and now here’s someone else singling it out, so perhaps I’m not the only word nerd out there wondering what’s up with the use of this word in prayer.

What does it mean? Well, for the grammar geeks out there (of which I’m one) it can be an adjective or adverb and actually has thirteen different definitions listed in the dictionary. But what does it mean when we use it in prayer? Does it add anything to the meaning of our prayers? When I think back over times I’ve heard it used and times it’s slipped unheeded out of my own mouth, typically it’s in the adverb form meaning “only” or “merely”. So what are we really saying when we say “Heavenly Father I just ask you to ...” or “I pray that you would just...”. Try substituting the words “only” or “merely” for “just” and see what meaning you end up with. 

In his book “Too Busy Not To Pray” Bill Hybels makes a thought provoking comment. He asks if we really think about what we say to God. He goes on to point out a great example – asking God to bless the food we’re about to eat.  How frequently do we ask God to use a plate of food swimming in artery clogging grease to strengthen and nourish our bodies.  What are we asking? Does it make any sense? Do we think carefully about what we say when we talk to God? Bill Hybel’s point is well taken...is God going to take a plate full of eggs, bacon and hash browns that have been sauteed in bacon grease (my favourite Saturday morning breakfast) and prevent it from damaging our arteries?

Do we really think about what we are saying when we absent-mindedly toss in the “just” word? Are we actually limiting God by using this word? Perhaps I’m making too much out of this but I’ve been noticing the word more and more in my prayer time and in churches. Like the cat that playfully tortures the mouse my brain is fixated on this word. What do you think? Does the word “just” have any significance in the life of our prayers or has it simply become the “um” of prayer time; filler while we think about what to say next?  Please feel free to post your thoughts and comments below.

Jonah 4 - Extreme Forgiveness

The last few blog posts have focused on the book of Jonah. We've seen various themes running throughout including rebellion, anger with God, repentance, and God's mercy and grace. Much of what God offers to us is "extreme" and hard for us to comprehend. Phillip Yancey touches on this in his book “What’s So Amazing About Grace?”. He actually refers to the “SCANDAL of grace” because we do nothing to earn grace, it is simply given by God.  Why is that so hard for us to understand? We're accustomed to living in a world where nothing is free, but that's not the case with God's grace. Christ already paid the price so we can live as forgiven people.

In chapter four of Jonah God teaches us about extreme forgiveness. He asks some pointed questions that slice straight to the heart of the matter - who are we to question God's right to offer forgiveness, and who are we to withhold forgiveness from those around us? If we take time to contemplate these questions we find ourselves forced to examine our motives, thoughts and interactions in our personal relationships. Take some time today to think about these questions - are you withholding forgiveness?  Click here to view the entire video devotion.

Jonah 3 - Nineveh A City On The Edge

Repent is a word commonly used in Christian vernacular. Typically you won't hear it applied in life outside of the church. Even within the Christian community it can be a word that isn't very popular. Perhaps that's because many people aren't really sure of what it means or perhaps they do know what it means but don't like the implications.

The dictionary identifies the word "repent" as a verb that means, "to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct". But it doesn't end there. It goes on to include the following statement in the definition, "to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better". To repent isn't just to feel sorry about something you've done and then continue doing it. True repentance involves coming to a place in your life where you simply cannot live with your actions any longer. It generally involves humbling ourselves to the point of being able to see our wrong doing and identify it for what it is. It may include confession and it probably involves apology. It can be a painful and messy act. So why would you want to repent?

When we begin to live with lies or wrong doing in our lives something inside of us changes. A part of our hearts become hardened. It's a slow, gradual process, but if it continues in one area of our lives soon it will permeate into other areas. One little lie here, one there - all seems harmless. Helping ourselves to extra pens, or sticky notes, or tape from the office for our own personal use seems harmless, afterall the company can afford it. Slipping the odd personal expense onto the company's expense account seems harmless.  All of these things desensitize us to being truthful in the larger areas of our lives. When we start to live with bigger lies in our lives we find we can't be completely honest with our friends and family. Our world shrinks because we have to be careful what we say around people. We become isolated within our lies and a part of our hearts shrivel up as we live with the guilt that begins to consume our minds. Coming to a place of repentance frees us from the prison walls that we erect inside our minds. It lifts a burden from our shoulders and we are free to enter into relational fellowship once again with the people around us. We are freed from guilt and are able to step out with confidence, secure in the knowledge that we are forgiven!

We've examined Jonah's repentant heart in chapter two of the book of Jonah in the Old Testament. Now let's watch and listen to see what it looks like when an entire city comes to repentance.  Click here to view the third in the video devotion series on the book of Jonah.